Stress in the Waiting Room
Help for the Pressure of Waiting
Psalm 13
Waiting challenges me. I try to face it with character, but impatience assaults me even in the ordinary. I analyze which fast food drive-through line will move quicker, or huff as I wonder when the store manager will open another register as customers stack up. I judge the doctor for how quickly he comes to the examining room. And then there’s my sarcastic monologue inside the car while driving…but we can stop there.
The Pain of Waiting
Minor inconveniences aside, the hardship of waiting can intensify into suffering when touching more serious areas of our lives. The months drag on as we hope for the positive pregnancy test. We try to keep our minds occupied while waiting for the diagnosis. We celebrate with our friends when they marry, but itch to find our own life partner. We watch the clock tick until the next dose of pain medication. We check our email, hoping today the job offer will come. We grow weary and discouraged over heart-wrenching prayers that remain unfulfilled.
Emotions swell and we cry out when the stress of waiting overwhelms us. Exasperation rises like steam from the Bible stories as humanity wrestles with frustrated desires and unmet needs.
The Cry of “How Long?'“
Reading Psalms recently, I recognized a phrase often falling from my lips: “How long, Lord?” In his prayer, David’s laments to the God he loves but who seems far away and unresponsive. Impatient for God to act, David cries out in words that could have come from my own heart:
“How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me? Consider me and answer, LORD my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death. My enemy will say, ‘I have triumphed over him,’ and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.” (Psalm 13:1-4) (Emphasis added.)
“David feels conflicted in his relationship with God—they are not on the same page, which adds to his anguish.”
How long…how long…how long…how long? The four-time repetition seems to twist the question into accusation. David files his complaints: the silence meeting his petitions for help, the sinking of his heart into despair, and the absence of rescue from his circumstances. How long must he wait for relief from the God who says he cares? David feels conflicted in his relationship with God—they are not on the same page, which adds to his anguish.
The “how longs” thrown at God throughout the biblical record gather into common and relatable categories:
How long will you continue your judgment against us?
How long will you fail to communicate with me?
How long will you delay in rescuing me?
How long will you fail to judge the wicked?
Even in more modern terms, the complaints remain consistent. We squirm under demanding circumstances. We want to God to explain why he delays answering our prayers. We plead for painful consequences to end. We wonder how long evil will continue its tragic destruction.
“We yearn to understand the “why” of our circumstances, hoping the answer will soothe our anxiety and satisfy our judgment of fairness. We want God to explain himself or fix it.”
Waiting pulls against our nature. We rebel against delayed gratification. We fear the unknown and wonder when, how, or even worse—if our needs will be met. We yearn to understand the “why” of our circumstances, hoping the answer will soothe our anxiety and satisfy our judgment of fairness. We want God to explain himself or fix it.
God’s Side of Waiting
On God’s side of waiting, not all “how longs” occur from people shouting them heavenward. In over 50 uses of the phrase in the Bible, almost half fall from the other direction. God delivers his own outpourings of frustration toward those he created and loves:
How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me?
How long will you continue to disobey my commands?
How long will you be unfaithful to me?
How long will you continue your wicked behavior?
How long will you persist in unbelief and error?
How long will you fail to trust me?
God suffers the pain of waiting too. While our “how longs” spring from frustrated desires, God’s stem from his concern for our welfare and his longing for us to live in peace and well-being. His “how longs” express warning for our safety when we stray away from his protective instructions. He hurts when we question his character of goodness and holiness, knowing doubt doubles our emotional burden. He grieves when we stray in our affections to please ourselves with the world’s lesser things, exchanging his best for the less worthy. He reacts with exasperation at our stubbornness to listen to his truth, which delays our receiving his blessings.
Relieving Some Pressure
A time-based existence and imperfect world make waiting inevitable. It will always pinch our human desire for immediate gratification. Following God’s pathway against the flow of the world’s values will result in suffering as the two move in opposite directions. So then, how do we wait in the way God intends for our ultimate blessing and relieve some of the pressure?
Reviewing God’s “how longs” reveals what he waits for from us: humility, obedience, faithfulness, righteousness, belief, and trust. We can begin by positioning ourselves in a right relationship with God to prevent any painful waiting of our own making. From there, we can pray for grace to share his perspective and purposes. We can press through the temptation of allowing frustration to withdraw us from his presence, and instead, lean nearer for comfort and wisdom. We can choose to act in trust and faith, despite present circumstances. As we wait, we can worship in expectant gratitude, remembering God’s faithfulness to us in the past. We can pour out our emotions, surrendering them to his love.
Wisdom for Waiting
David leads the way for us as he concludes his raw honesty of Psalm 13:
“But I have trusted in your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in your deliverance. I will sing to the Lord because he has treated me generously.” (Psalm 13:5-6) (Emphasis added.)
David knew who loved him and he took a stand on what he knew. In the stress of waiting, he chose to reposition himself at God’s side. From there, he exchanged anguish for trust, anxiety for rejoicing, and complaints for a song.
Our “how longs” may threaten to press us flat in weariness or drain us empty of faith and hope. Frustrations may try to divide us from the purest love and most trustworthy heart of all. But like David, we can choose instead to weave them into a duet of worshipful expectation. We can blend our cries with God’s own painful echo, as he too waits—for us and alongside us.
In your place of waiting, how can you exchange weariness for worshipful expectation?
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