Grab on to the Rock
Continuing the Conversation…
Companionship in Anxiety
“We all try to accept with some sort of submission our afflictions when they actually arrive. But the prayer in Gethsemane shows that the preceding anxiety is equally God’s will and equally part of our human destiny. The perfect Man experienced it. And the servant is not greater than the master.”
C. S. Lewis isn’t afraid to kick over his emotional bucket and sort through the pieces. I love that about him. In his heart-wrenching book, The Problem of Pain, he tackles the ugly thoughts of sorrow in plain, unedited form. He lets them fall free and lay tangled for a while—sharp-edged and unprocessed. While he unapologetically struggles, he applies his honed intellect to sift through the mess. He invites any who suffer to sit with him and find comfort in that raw companionship. I experience the same place of acceptance as he speaks about anxiety in his book on prayer.
Like many of us, I’ve been through extended periods of both grief and anxiety. Sometimes the latter feels harder to bear with its nebulous boundaries and no marked finish line. It lacks the defined stages of moving through grief. I’ve been gripped by its dark restlessness, adrift in relentless feelings of agitation and loss of control. On top of it all, shame haunts the anxious for failing to have stability or faith. It’s isolating. No one brings a casserole or sends flowers when you have a panic attack.
As C. S. Lewis tackles anxiety, he uncovers a crevice in the rockface we can grab for a handhold. He presents to us the Perfect Man within his struggle and invites us to join him. We watch him wrestle anxiety—perfectly, and within the will of God. Jesus spills his naked turmoil at the Father’s feet without shame. He cries for deliverance. His overwhelming dread is not sin. He endures it; embracing his humanness and all that comes with it. In an imperfect world, Jesus affirms anxiety as part of the human condition. He has been there before us. We do not sit in the dark alone.
What part of Jesus’ heart do you need to grab hold of in your anxiety?
Quote Reference: C. S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm-Chiefly on Prayer, (San Francisco, CA: HarperOne, 2017), 58.